Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
