So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
