Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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