So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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