Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So much Jack, so little girl.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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