wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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