No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
