Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
