this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize