He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
