I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
