your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize