I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize