Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
