there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
