She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize