So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
