my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
