So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Let's paint friendship bongs
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
