He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
