he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
