i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
