I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
