I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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