Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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