she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
