somebody snuck up and got me drunk
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
