Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She bit a glass in half.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
