it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
