I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
