4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
