Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
