I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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