i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
