I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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