mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
