I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
