More tranny stories later!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
