I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
