If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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