Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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