If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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