I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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