He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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