3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Go christen that room with your naked body.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
