Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
