would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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