Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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