Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
