Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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