Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
