As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
