just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
