wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
