You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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