you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize