I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize