Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
