you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
