i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
